Damn!!! I Didn’t Want You To Be The Parent of My Child!

It has been a while world but I have returned to give y’all a little of that craziness I think about on the daily. As I get older I realize a lot of friends, family, and associates around my age are getting married and starting families. Wow! what a blessing! black love has really shown up and shown out. The princess has found her prince charming and prince charming brought a homeboy for the princess’ friend too. And they all having precious little rug rats. It is really seeming as though it is happily ever after. Well  at least I thought it has been happily ever after. Instead I’ve really been hearing a lot about child support, custody, and why he/she ain’t excrement, but I am sure they do not put it as nice as I do.

I do not have kids but I am sure when I do my entire world and thought process will change. I will have an entire life depending on me to provide, protect, and prepare to be the best person he or she can be in this world. That is why I cannot fathom why any  man would put his tail between his legs and take flight when he gets that late text talking about “boo I’m late ” text. Say bruh you should have used a latex. If you don’t understand the simplicity of the male and female sex organs and what they produce when used together I really don’t think you should be procreating. Please abstain if you are really that simple. It is basic to me if you give her a child and make her a mother, you raise your child and be a father. I know you claim she’s a strag, stretcha, bussa, but you had intercourse with her and got her preggo, Mr. strag, Mr. stretcha, and Mr.bussa. Just be present not absent when you’re called on to accept your role.

Single mothers I know  have a difficult job raising their child and/or children. However, the same responsibility the man should have taken during intercourse goes for you too. Yes he should have slipped on the rain coat, but you didn’t pull out your umbrella either. How do you lay down and get impregnated by a guy you claim to be ain’t “feces” and then get upset when he is not buying pampers, paying for day care, or even showing the little one any type of love. He showed you he was not the man of your standards when he hit you with those old tired lines “what’s your name? what’s your size?” or “What’s your sign?”. You let him  up in there  and now y’all are both stuck out. You for nine months physically and a lifetime after, and him for 18 years financially because you have to put him on child support, as well as a lifetime if he decides to stick around.

Now I know sometimes things just don’t work out and after the two minutes of passion, a missed period, and a few days of morning sickness its obvious that jr is on his way. Between 11:58pm-12:00am things JUST GOT SERIOUS. But in all seriousness once it all settles and the man is doing what he is supposed to do as a father, why put him on child support? Am I wrong? If the man is trying to be  father why go out of your way to create baby mama drama. It seems like you are using your child as an ATM but all you are doing is hurting the child. If the father of your child isn’t taking care of his seed by all means put him on that ‘port, but if he is what you claim “ain’t fecal matter” what is putting him on child support going to do? If he didn’t have money when you were with him and you were carrying him, you putting him on child support will give you the same return you would get if you keep putting your money in a shredder. And the last time I checked shredded money does not spend.

Be careful, pick the mother and father of your children carefully. If you’re a man with a child or children just do your best to be the best father you can be to them. If you’re a mom, most definitely a single mom, no matter how trifling the father of your child/children is don’t bad mouth him. Your child will already see it. They don’t need to hear the bitterness from you, they just need to see the loving, caring, nurturing mom you are.

Somebody please help me understand our child support system because what is happening to brothers like Nas is crazy. Please feel free to discuss your opinions on the whole child support issue I am curious to know y’all thoughts.

 

Why Can’t She Be “International”?

Hey world! It’s always a blessing to write another post and I hope that my writing in return is a blessing for you all. The last couple of weeks I have been caught up in deep thought about doing a little experimenting with “International” women. Now that the thought process has pretty much been completed, does anyone know where I could go in the windy city to find one?. No, but seriously ever since I have mentioned this I have caught a lot of flack from every black woman I know. My question is why?

Why is it that as a young black man when I mention dating “International” women black women jump off the deep end like some loony toon character. I don’t see anything wrong with trying new things. I’ve never been one to stay stagnant in anything. It just seemed to me that I wasnt being open enough with the ethnicity of women I date. How can I honestly say I have lived, or for that matter find my soul’s counterpart in another if I just limit myself to one ethnic group of women? It was like the moment I let this idea come out of my head and into the public, black women pounced on it like free relaxer. They grew furious trying to figure out what they didn’t have that an “International” woman did. The majority of  black women I knew who responded to me got defensive, and tried to treat me with the same respect of an Ike Turner.

I just want to clear up a few minor things. Just because I say “International” doesn’t mean that you should automatically think I want to date someone outside my race/ethnic group. I know that there are women of my ethnic background who aren’t American. I wonder what that do, you feel me. However, “International” does include other ethnic groups as well. I am interested in what they have to offer as well. I just think at no time should I have to be permanently linked to just American black women. I should be able to do so without taking flack from black women just I am not doing the status quo.

I think black women should stop taking the interracial dating thing so personal. It seems as though it’s some sort of taboo to date or have a relationship with someone non-black if you’re black. I am tired of people doing the same things that they’re parents did because they’re parents did it, or doing entering the same repetitive relationships because that’s all they know or are comfortable with. There’s nothing wrong with trying new things and stepping outside that box of “normality”. I don’t think happiness has a color nor do I think it’s a slap in the face to date outside your own race the way society does. What’s wrong with a brotha going “International” with his women, because staying ”stateside” isn’t the only way you can live. Whose to say, you just may like one more than the other.

I love black women so don’t go bananas, but I don’t discriminate and neither should YOU!!!….

Until next time………….

I bet she don’t pick up the tab

Hey world! I hope all has been well. I’m sure you all have missed me but you know life happens. Also, as life has happened I’m positive that you all know that I have been observing a lot of things going on around me, especially about men and women. That brings me to today’s topic at hand. Men, women, and money. Some times these three are like salt and vinegar chips and an intimate conversation. It’s just not going to mix.

Let me give you the background info on what lead me down this road. I happened to tune into the “People’s Court” and either leading into commercials or returning after commercial breaks there is a guy who asks the outside audience questions. The case at hand was about a woman who wanted her money back that she spent on her then significant other because she felt it was the man’s duty to finance the dates. The women in the outside audience came to the conclusion that men HAVE to pay for outings, whereas women shouldn’t have to pay. Also, they felt that women should be reimbursed when they do. If that’s not retardation at its best, I don’t know what is. As much money as men have spent on those women they have dated.There are some women who have just been like low income elementary students all their life, yep  straight free lunch meal cards through life.

Now we all have different values that were given to us through out our childhood and adolescent years. However, there is certain ideas that are so dumb that it makes ignorant look appealing . I don’t care how long you stare at a pile of shit, at the end of the day its still a pile of shit. I do agree that men have been given the torch for providing from society and from a biblical stance. But honestly if I feel like im always spending money and the woman is getting over like a hype on the 1st we’re going to have serious issues.

Why is it that when men constantly take the responsibility for financing an outing for a couple; it’s just understood that he’s supposed to do so with no questions asked. When the subject of paying comes up around a woman it turns into damn near brain surgery. The fact that on this show I watched a woman actually ask to be reimbursed because she felt she didnt have to pay. I hear a lot of women say they’re independent and they’re tired of double standards. Well hell if that’s the case ladies we can start going tab for tab. It seems like there is a lot of fence straddling going on with women and this subject.

I’ve heard many women call men cheap because they weren’t enthusiastic about paying. Well hell if that’s the case many men can call these same women cheap because I know they ass probably would’ve stayed home if they had to pay for the dinner or the event. I’m just being real, almost every woman is claiming double standards need to be removed and that they should be allowed to do everything a man does. Well ladies you are more than welcome to tear down these double standards and become equal with men. Just pick up the tab on the next date with your man or the man you’re out on a date with.

Talk to You all next time…

Are women still training men?

What’s going on today people? I hope everyone is living life to the fullest, living the dream and not dreaming the life. Now today  I have run into a bit of a situation that has caused me a great sense of agitation. I’m sure y’all thinking long and hard about what I could be agitated with, but I promise you it’s something that will have you talking at the water cooler tomorrow. A few days ago I heard a woman tell  her girl” He’s cute, all I have to do is train him and mold him the way I like and he’ll be perfect”.

First and foremost ladies men aren’t your children. The bible verse that says “train up a child in the way he should go and he will not depart from it” is not referring to women and their significant others. I’m sure y’all wish it was at times though.  I know all women don’t think this way but where did this idea come from that women need to train their men? I’m sure ladies there are some things that you want out of a relationship, but “training” is not the route. All you’re going to get is resentment, frustration, and a lot  of where did I go wrong?

Training  for  some women is just another way for them to escape the communication area of the relationship. Instead of the woman trying to read up on the latest Pets Mart Kennel training manual she should put a little more effort in learning her man. If she does take the time to learn more about her man she would understand right then in there that here man either does or does not have the qualities she looking for in the opposite sex. Yeah I know he’s the physical specimen you’re looking for sweetheart, but it’s obvious you’re wasting your time trying to change a man. Y’all do know men aren’t clocks right? You will never change a man. If you think you have I’m pretty sure you’re not 100% happy because all he does is submit to you rather than being that supportive mainstay that you crave in a relationship.

Far too many times I have heard the phrase “I’m going to train/mold/ or change him into what I want”. Ladies the minute that comes out of your mouth you need fast forward to man #2 because the first guy is just Mr. Right Now, baby girl you’re settling and if you can’t see that you need to be by yourself for a while. I don’t understand why some women feel they have to teach a male to be a man. The moment you see little buddy isn’t up to par chunk that boy the deuces because an exciting relationship is somewhere over in aisle 2 while you haven’t even made it into the store because you’re babying a grown man.

Ladies please drop the training.molding, and /or changing a mam from your repertoire. It doesn’t work for you in the long run and its not going to benefit the relationship. There is definitely a difference between personal growth and changing. There is nothing wrong with a woman or man introducing their significant other to some of their likes, but having a plan to change that person from the core to fit your prototype is manipulative and pointless.

THINK TANK Signing off until next time…..

Is It Time For Sex Yet?

What’s goodie my people. I hope everything is peachy keen for all of you all. Today I want to throw a few spices on your mental palettes if  I may for a second or two. Hopefully when I’m done you’ll be burning to say a lot on the topic at hand, well maybe not burning that sounds so STD’ ish. But let’s just say it should spark a lot of debate amongst you and your friends. Well enough with the general eds, I obviously had a random thought or encounter this week so I will divulge a bit with you folks.

Last week I happened to hear the end of a radio segment question which was “How long should men  wait  for sex in a relationship? or how long should women wait before they have sex in a relationship ?” Why they opened that can of ignorance I surely do not know, but since its opened let’s just take a look inside. It’s clear to me that everyone has a different idea or philosophy on this, but I’m sure that the majority of us have standards, at least I hope y’all do. Don’t try to jump my bones yet lil mama you dont  even know my last name yet, and hell I didn’t even get your Fico score your credit might be shot.

There’s been a lot of people who give dates on when the panties should be dropped, or when the D should be delivered. I have heard the 3month rule, 1 month rule, hell I think I recall a few individuals taking a 2week rule into the bedroom. It honestly depends on the person, but I think there is a lot more pressure on women to make that decision a lot quicker than their male counterparts.

Most guys realistically want to do a jump n jack flash into the sack. But what does that really accomplish with a woman? We definitely know that women are sticklers for their emotional ties so why create instability with a dose of confusion. A lot of women will claim that they’re able to have a sexual relationship with a man without catching emotional attachment but let’s be honest thats far from the truth.

Men want instant gratification when it comes to pleasure amongst other things as well. But let it be known men understand the science of the man/woman relationship. Men want that woman that treats her body like a precious gem, even though they fail to show it on an outward level. There is a lot of times when men and woman try to play the sex card as though its an equalizer for both genders. Hell we all know that smell, yep straight bull shit, get a good whiff of it. Women can not do the same as men when it comes to sex.

However, I do believe that they should be able to be sexually free, but the masses would never agree with that idea. Women have all the power when it comes to sex, whether they want to believe it or not. Men can only do what they are allowed to do. So if women feel that they want to wait 24 hours or until marriage they posses that control. You never hear a man talking with his guys “so when you gone give her a sample?” That sounds RE-TAR-DED, If I heard a group a guys talking like that I will definitely be getting my 100yard dash on and ladies I would advise y’all to proceed with caution, It’s  a Clear and Present Danger, I’m telling you,them brothers are on that DL, y’all know… that don’t ask don’t tell bull shit.. ya better watch out.

Women have the power and control in the sex department. Whenever they decide they want to take that step that’s when it will go that direction. I honestly don’t think there is a standard time of how long a man should wait or how long a woman should wait before she gives up her body. Hence, its her damn body lol. If  a guy isn’t willing to wait, he can move on to the next one. There’s no need  Ms.lady for you to get upset, actually you should be happy because he wasn’t any good from jump street.

Just something I’ve been marinating on, feel free to drop a line or two

THINK TANK Signing OFF…………..

WHY WOULD I SIGN UP FOR THAT?

What’s good family?!?! I know that all is well for everyone, I’ll just claim that.  There has definitely been some neglect on my behalf but I’m back to give y’all what is needed to quench your mental thirst. The last time I spoke to y’all we touched on Chivalry and how It was pretty much on life support, so i wanted to piggy back off that and put a little spin to it. Basically I had a few conversations since then that jerked me a little bit. These conversations were pretty much based on men being the sole provider for their families and a couple of women’s perspective on the husband’s role in a union.Yeah I’m bringing the heat like two slaves in August , in New Orleans fighting over Cayenne Pepper  pops in a mini cooper with no A/C with the windows rolled up. I know you all are thinking Youngcels you aren’t even married, but you all should know me by now, I will not cut off my nose to spite my face. If I hear something and have something to say about it the gums will be bumping like Jackie Chan in the trunk.

I had a long conversation with a close friend of mine who happens to be a woman and she dropped a bomb on me that just blew up in my face. She believed that when she got married her husbands’ salary would be used in its entirety to support the entire house. For those who need laments terms, the brotha’ will have to pay all the bills and just slave to the job. Thus, by the husband paying all creditors, her funds would be used to shop and buy things for her self -gratification. Her perspective was ass backwards to me, what type of marriage is that? come on married folks out there divulge please….

But at any rate family y’all know I came at her head, I mean honestly what Disneyland fairytale does she think she’s living in? Prince Charming ain’t quite make it to this time period. However, she proceeds to tell me that it’s not fairytale and that her husband will have a high paying  career. Hold on babe, TV timeout, aaaannnnddd CUT!!!. I know you trying to claim it in existence  in all, but I don’t care if your husband is a neurosurgeon. The more money you make the more expensive the lifestyle you want to lead and no one person’s salary is going to support that lifestyle. Now there are of course exceptions to the rules with professional athletes, celebrities, and successful businessmen. But we’re not including them right now.

So this whole time I’m trying to understand her supportive arguments. She comes up with the typical woman answer. “Well the man is supposed to take care of everything, that’s why he’s called the man of the house”. Ohhh really now?  I do believe the man does whatever to make sure family is taken care of. But I thought marriage meant help mate .I don’t think marriage was built for one person to carry the entire load. Maybe I skipped that verse in the Bible, y’all saved folk know the good word I’m talking about, enlighten me.

I pushed this same conversation on another female friend to see how she would answer and she gave me the same illogical answer. “Well if you call yourself a man in a marriage you’re supposed to pay all the BIG bills.  I will pay some small bills like the cable.” Girl, you do know cable ain’t a necessity right? Oh ok  because I ‘m just making sure. I mean seriously what man is going to sign up to take these type of hits? I see now why high percentages of women are eternally single. It’s not that they can’t get a husband, men just aren’t volunteering to be the only person in the pressure seat. Every woman wants that double standard to go away when its for their benefit but hide behind it when the spotlight of accountability is shining on them.

Men don’t think this means you don’t have to do whatever is necessary to make sure your family has what they need to survive. But women that doesn’t mean just because you have a husband you sit idly and let him get beat down by life’s financial gauntlet because you’ve been taught that’s the man’s job. Aww no babe it’s a union, which means we are one body with two interchangeable parts. Maybe I’m just thinking wrong. Let me know something.

THINK TANK Signing off………..

So It’s Chivalry Again…

Good morning my good people. I hope everyone is enjoying this great summer weather or cooling off because it has been hotter than funion breath so far in some places. But that just allows for the creative juices of us gentleman to marinate when taking our queens out  for a summer evening. Yep, summer time is not a break from men being gentlemen. Chivalry isn’t dead, it’s just on life support right now because both genders are a little unclear on the subject.

Now brethren, we have got to do better in the department of treating our women how they deserve to be cared after. Men the rules of being a man is plain and simple. 1 be accountable and 2 be a provider. I don’t think you can truly be a man if you’re not these two things. And if you claim to be a man but you’re not chivalrous somewhere in between  adolescence and manhood you became lost. If that’s the case you need to start over from scratch.

The term chivalry encompasses so much, but it goes unnoticed to the naked eye. Let’s think about it for a second. When a gentleman approaches a lady he does so in a respectful manner. He does not grab, touch, hoot or holler. He asks a lady out and pays the tab. He compliments her beauty and her being. When going out he opens doors and is a protective figure. The fact of the matter is a gentleman always makes sure that a woman is taken care of from all angles

If you feel as a man that every time you take a woman on a date you have to ask her how much her entree’ cost you need not to go on dates. I am just being honest. Guys just because you pay for a lady’s dinner doesn’t mean that you’re tricking off, if you date with a purpose you wouldn’t feel that way. And gentleman never feel like they’re owed anything because they paid for a measly meal.

Woman chivalry is a concept that is truly a lifestyle in which one is raised. Don’t think for one second that you’re going to be treated nicely by all guys, that’s just not going to happen. Don’t expect a man to pay for everything just because he’s a man. A man is not an automatic teller machine. If you don’t see anything in him don’t keep milking him because he’s a gentleman and always pays. You’re only making more guys feel as though being a gentleman is for suckas and being chivalrous only leads to women getting free meals and dates out the deal. Know that you deserve the best treatment, but also know that its not a free buffet just because you’re a woman.

THINK TANK signing off until next time…

I Like Women Because…Part 2

What’s really good this Friday afternoon? I hope your lunch hour was whole -heartedly  filling. I know mine will be as soon I give the readers what they need. Well enough about the literal food, I want to bite into the food of thought on the menu for the day. Yesterday I wrote about the “main reason” guys like women. I want to expand on the subject a little more, especially after getting some great feedback from my main man Duane. Now that I explored a superficial reason why most guys like women, what is it that guys search for in a woman? What men are searching for in a woman is the true essence of their attraction to them.

It is my honest belief that men look for the woman of their dreams. I am sure you all are thinking that ’s so cliche’, that’s like a woman asking for her “prince charming”. The fact of the matter is that men deep down are looking for a woman who encompasses the greatness they’ve viewed in the dominant women in their own lives. We want to know that this woman does or does not have the qualities of the first lady we ever loved. I personally would love to have a woman that mirrored my mother’s greatness, but also was the antithesis of her weaknesses. That  connection definitely goes a long way in how a man perceives the woman in question.

The power of friendship is one of the strongest bonds believe it or not. A strong friendship, not some unaccountable friendship where the feeling of ackwardness looms, but a friendship that is built from a strong foundation can draw a man into a passionate relationship. If a man can open up to a woman, share emotions, and form a tie that goes beyond the sexual desires I am confident that the man would gravitate towards her. He would feel so connected both physically and emotionally it would show why he truly liked this woman.

Intelligence is another aspect that draws a man to become fond of a woman. A lot of individuals  would disagree and say that a man just looks at what a woman has to offer physically. That is by far as shallow as it comes. However, men do tend to stray towards the bronze and overlook the brains. I think that is primarily a short term pit stop. Honestly what man wants to spend the rest of his life with a pretty box of rocks? I know i sure don’t. The need for a man to meet his intellectual match or even his intellectual superior is his goal. That quality alone increases a man’s interest in a woman.

The need for a man when it comes to being attracted to a woman does start with the physical. However, there is more to it than what is seen on the surface. Men do search for a woman that can become that woman of his dreams, best friend, and his intellectual stimulant. It’s  not just the  curves but  they do lead a man towards his true feelings and reasons of why he’s attracted to a woman. 

Talk to you all next week…SHOUT OUT!!! to Duane for the major assist for this Part II

I like women because….

Hey people! how’s the sun shining on you? If it’s raining better luck tomorrow with the weather. Today ladies and gentlemen I want to bring you all the serious topic I mentioned in the last post. I want to get a clear understanding about a question a friend of mine asked me that I’ve never  pondered nor thought I had to at any point in time. The question that was asked to me was “Why do guys like girls?” Let’s dissect this question with all gloves off. Can we do that for a moment?

When this questioned spilled out of her mouth I was ready to rip apart a question I truly thought was boneheaded at best. I mean we all know why guys like girls and vice versa, but do we really dig deeper than the surface? I’m sure it wasn’t that deep for the inquirer but hey who knows. The first thought that bolted across my mind was I like girls because I am sexually attracted to them and want their companionship. It may seem barbaric and utterly blunt, but I’m only being honest. I’ve never viewed a beautiful woman and said “Damn! her brain is breath taking” or “she has a gorgeous heart”. I literally cant see those things on her when I’m checking her out, but everything I initially notice is more along the lines of a sexual encounter. I’m only being real.

So as I proceed to let this statement run out of my mouth like a leaky faucet, I was cut off by the inevitable. “That’s all its about? your sexual attraction?” The fact was I had no energy to lie and the honest tongue had control over my mouthy prowess. All I could say was ”hell yeah, when I see a chick majority of the time I am thinking I am or am not sexually attracted to her. However, there are certain times when I appraoch a lady and say something casually nice or think something that genuinely leads nowhere towards sex.

It all boils down in my eyes to sexual attraction. That is the main reason guys like girls, but of course its not the only reason. We do yearn for a woman’s touch, conversation, friendship/companionship, and understanding. In contrast, the prelude or foundation to the latter is sexual connection or compatibility a man feels towards that woman. Nothing more nothing less. I hate to say it, and know many of you ladies will be thinking that damn dog, he ain’t shit. But I’m just telling the honest truth on how most logical men  think, and the initial response to “why do guys like girls?” We just love what the women offer the love below, but we grow with their love above….

THINK TANK..I hope I made you all think today…talk to you next week….

Un-Chain My Texts

Hey my beautiful people! I hope your Friday is already shaping up as one for the ages. I know your weekends will be quite eventful, well at least I hope so. I know I’ve been away for a hot second but it’s only because so much stupidity has been going around, like a common cold. The  are two major things that have been bugging me, but I’ll stick to just one today, chain texts.

I really don’t know where to begin with this one. It’s not that I have problems with the sending of the chain text, or the people sending these messages. I honestly have an issue with the premise that’s trying to be inferred. Just think about the last chain text you received. It reads as follows: FWD:FWD:FWD: If you really love God and believes He has blessed you send this to exactly three black people, two Caucasians, two Hispanics, and one Asian. All must be in different time zones, and if you don’t send this message God will no longer love and  bless you, nor will you be allowed into heaven. First of all, I didn’t know God had a cell phone, he must have that Simply Omnipresent plan. I hope I’m in His Fav 5.

Then there are all the love/ relationship chain text messages that really fall upon blind eyes with me. Have any of you took the time to read these convoluted statements? I love you and you love me so here’s a hug.The love of your life will call you in ten minutes if you send this message to 25 people, and if you don’t you will be alone forever. Okay, cut the charades, I don’t dance if there’s no music, I don’t laugh if it’s not funny, so you can miss me with the bull fecal matter. If you believe the ideals of these chain texts you should go play dodge ball with bullets.

Really, who is coming up with these texts, and the consequences if you supposedly break the chain? Is there some malfeasance  if I send the text but not to the number of people required? I think not, I wish there was some deranged individual creating these absurd chain texts so I can give them a piece of my mind that’s un-Christ like at times for using up too much of my unlimited texts. I breaks chains!!!

Think Tank signing off…Next Week I have an important Topic..so look out