What’s good family?!?! I know that all is well for everyone, I’ll just claim that. There has definitely been some neglect on my behalf but I’m back to give y’all what is needed to quench your mental thirst. The last time I spoke to y’all we touched on Chivalry and how It was pretty much on life support, so i wanted to piggy back off that and put a little spin to it. Basically I had a few conversations since then that jerked me a little bit. These conversations were pretty much based on men being the sole provider for their families and a couple of women’s perspective on the husband’s role in a union.Yeah I’m bringing the heat like two slaves in August , in New Orleans fighting over Cayenne Pepper pops in a mini cooper with no A/C with the windows rolled up. I know you all are thinking Youngcels you aren’t even married, but you all should know me by now, I will not cut off my nose to spite my face. If I hear something and have something to say about it the gums will be bumping like Jackie Chan in the trunk.
I had a long conversation with a close friend of mine who happens to be a woman and she dropped a bomb on me that just blew up in my face. She believed that when she got married her husbands’ salary would be used in its entirety to support the entire house. For those who need laments terms, the brotha’ will have to pay all the bills and just slave to the job. Thus, by the husband paying all creditors, her funds would be used to shop and buy things for her self -gratification. Her perspective was ass backwards to me, what type of marriage is that? come on married folks out there divulge please….
But at any rate family y’all know I came at her head, I mean honestly what Disneyland fairytale does she think she’s living in? Prince Charming ain’t quite make it to this time period. However, she proceeds to tell me that it’s not fairytale and that her husband will have a high paying career. Hold on babe, TV timeout, aaaannnnddd CUT!!!. I know you trying to claim it in existence in all, but I don’t care if your husband is a neurosurgeon. The more money you make the more expensive the lifestyle you want to lead and no one person’s salary is going to support that lifestyle. Now there are of course exceptions to the rules with professional athletes, celebrities, and successful businessmen. But we’re not including them right now.
So this whole time I’m trying to understand her supportive arguments. She comes up with the typical woman answer. “Well the man is supposed to take care of everything, that’s why he’s called the man of the house”. Ohhh really now? I do believe the man does whatever to make sure family is taken care of. But I thought marriage meant help mate .I don’t think marriage was built for one person to carry the entire load. Maybe I skipped that verse in the Bible, y’all saved folk know the good word I’m talking about, enlighten me.
I pushed this same conversation on another female friend to see how she would answer and she gave me the same illogical answer. “Well if you call yourself a man in a marriage you’re supposed to pay all the BIG bills. I will pay some small bills like the cable.” Girl, you do know cable ain’t a necessity right? Oh ok because I ‘m just making sure. I mean seriously what man is going to sign up to take these type of hits? I see now why high percentages of women are eternally single. It’s not that they can’t get a husband, men just aren’t volunteering to be the only person in the pressure seat. Every woman wants that double standard to go away when its for their benefit but hide behind it when the spotlight of accountability is shining on them.
Men don’t think this means you don’t have to do whatever is necessary to make sure your family has what they need to survive. But women that doesn’t mean just because you have a husband you sit idly and let him get beat down by life’s financial gauntlet because you’ve been taught that’s the man’s job. Aww no babe it’s a union, which means we are one body with two interchangeable parts. Maybe I’m just thinking wrong. Let me know something.
THINK TANK Signing off………..
So, these women neeed to understand that that concept of the man using all of his money for the household is crazy! Hence one of the reasons they are not married. A man of the household is not about money but the vision and guidance of the household. I could go on and on celus. You were right to bring up this point!!!!
T i know you have plenty to say on this topic….feel free to expand. I really enjoyed the debate of this conversation. It’s interesting to me to see different perspectives.
Beware the women you encountered for this blog arent the only type of (Black) women out here. Although I’ve never been married, I made a huge transition to build a family. As of now, my relationship is on thin ice because I chose to NOT stay at home with the baby/adapt the homemaker lifestyle. Yes, we agreed on me staying home *until I felt like working again. Im guessing that was earlier than his expectations. I have pride just like him & want to feel confident in contributing to our home in more than one way. I want my own income, so the BOTH of us can meet finances 50/50. THEN with the remainder of my check I’ll feel comfy treating myself to a thing or two
I believe it shouldnt be all on “the man” of the house. So what about the brothers that cant respect “the strong black woman”- capable of loving a man like no other & taking care of home physically &&& FINANCIALLY???
point very well taken. I definitely can appreciate the strong black woman, but of course there are guys who feel like their job as a man means to be domineering and that’s truly not the case. I feel like men and women are conditioned to the roles that society has created for them so many decades ago and feel like they have to remain that way rather than evolving.